"Mommy, don't be scared of the Church"

Hello Sweetheart,

Did you like the carnations that we brought you today? The bunch was a little small. Next time I need to get more. Did you like the song that your brother sang to you? He was excited to come see you, and to see the pinwheels at other kids' place. Your brother still associates you with the hospital. I had to remind him that you're not in the hospital anymore. I was glad to see that after he explored the area a little bit, he went back to see you. He didn't just run off without saying goodbye.

After visiting you, we went down to Sunday mass in Cupertino, where you had your funeral mass. This is the first time we came back since April, and your brother still remembers me crying last time. While I was holding his hand and walking towards the church, he said to me, "Mommy, don't cry, ok?" and "Mommy, don't be scared of the Church... you don't need to be scared". He still remembers seeing me crying when I was walking you out after your mass. I told him that I won't cry, and I am not scared anymore. It's amazing how he still remembers little things like this. He didn't say those words to me last week when we went to a different Church.

Aidan was actually very well-behaved. He likes going to this church because of the digital numbers of the hymns. He's excited to wait and see what the next hymn number would be. We thought about sitting in the baby room, away from the main hall. But since it wasn't full when we're there, we chose to sit with everyone else. It helps that there were 2 kids sitting in front of us. Your brother was actually better behaved than them. We'll probably come to this church more often after we move.

We'll come see you again next Saturday. Ah Po reminded me today that next Saturday marks the 100th day of your passing.


Love you,
Mommy

Christmas 2008

Christmas was a lovely day. As mommy was explaining to Aidan when he refused to wash his hands for dinner, Christmas is a time for family. It's a time when family all get together and sit together for dinner. Family includes daddy, mommy, ah gung (grandpa), ah po (grandma), Aidan and Logan, that's why we all need to sit down and enjoy our Christmas dinner. He bought it and went to wash his hands. He has grown to accept reasoning and will not listen if you just bark our your orders.

The best Christmas gift for us is to have Logan join us. When he was at the ICN, that's what we wished for, even though he still has all his tubes, at least he appears healthy to us. We also dressed him up as Santa's Little helper. So cute!

Christmas morning was filled with gifts and pictures. We took tons of pictures (you can see more pictures at our photo gallery at http://aidan.mrtoga.net) and Aidan opened many gifts (the most of his 3 Christmases), thanks to family and friends. But guess what, his favorite gift was his brother's Rainforest Waterfall Soother that grandparents bought Logan. He just loves anything with music and lights. It took us a good hour or more for all the picture taking and presents opening in the morning. Fun times.

Then we headed to our annual Christmas mass (except Daddy and Logan who stayed at home). It's been a long time since mommy went to Church. Aidan went when he was a baby and when he was about a year old. After he could walk, we stopped going, worried that he would be running around and causing trouble. We only go on Christmas Day. Yes, we're THAT type of Catholic. :) As suspected, Aidan couldn't sit still at church. Mommy had to watch him closely at the back of the church where other kids and parents were hanging out. He was running around, playing with doors (his favorite thing in the world), looking at the lights, and being his talkative little self. Actually, it wasn't too bad.

In the afternoon, Aidan spent time with grandparents playing with his bubble gun. For some reason, he's scared of touching bubbles. He likes to see them, but not touch them. He is slowly overcoming that fear play by play. Mommy then built a gingerbread house with Aidan. That must be the ugliest gingerbread house in the world. But you know what, it's the process and the experience that count, and not the end result, right? At least Aidan had fun putting the candies on the house, while licking his frosting-coated fingers.

With all the craziness going on in the house, we're unable to cook our Christmas dinner. But that doesn't prevent us from having our nice big turkey, thanks to Lucky's Holiday dinner! All we needed to do was pop the turkey in the oven and microwave the side dishes. Voila! It tasted pretty good, too! We also brought Logan out to the kitchen and to enjoy dinner with us. Like I told Aidan, Christmas is a time to spend with the family, and we can't do that without Logan.