One year ....

Dear Logan,

Today is the first year anniversary of your passing.  I really can't imagine it's been a year already.  I can still remember clearly everything that happened a year ago. I did take a day off from work today. At first, I didn't know if I should, as I really didn't know what I should do if I did take it off.  But then, it didn't seem right if I work and pretend today is not a special day.  So instead of drowning myself in sorrow and re-read my blog posts, I scheduled a haircut appointment to cut 10 inches off to donate to Locks of Love.  I was inspired by Auntie Judy and Little Alan to donate my hair.

I went to Legar Salon in Palo Alto to get my hair cut.  I looked online to find a salon that has experiences cutting hair for Locks of Love, and found this one.  Oh my, this is the most expensive haircut I've ever gotten in my life. To a lot of people, it's not expensive, but I'm used to going to cheap Chinese places to get my $10-15 cuts.  $40 for a haircut is quite a lot for me.  But it's all good.  I think Katie did a good job and I am very happy with my haircut.  I was surprised 10 inches of hair is actually not as long as I thought.  I thought I would have super short hair, but am pleasantly surprised that I didn't end up with a very boyish hair cut.  Now I just need to mail my ponytail out.

My only regret for today is the inability to hang up your quilt.  I've been hoping to do that today, but by the time we got home from visiting you and dinner, it's already past 8 p.m.  Hammering at 8 p.m. but not be very considerate. We'll just have to do it this weekend.

Though I didn't re-read my blog posts, I did take out my "Logan Box".  A box that holds all of my memories of you: your first Santa outfit, your little hat, cards, documents, toys, and medical records.  I've been trying to keep myself very busy today.  I miss you, but I was too busy to dwell on it and cry.  I know these feelings come and go.  I would be fine for a while, but then the overwhelming feeling of sadness can hit me anytime, mostly when I am driving.

Now, I'll just focus all of my energy on next Saturday's March for Babies.



Miss and Love you,
Mommy