Definitely a false alarm!

Dear Logan,

Thanks for watching over your big bro.  He's definitely a lot better today.  He was able to stand a little early this morning when we woke up.  Then throughout the day, he could sit and stand without much discomfort.  Yesterday, he would be crying when we moved him from one position to another.  I was able to take him shopping for his Buzz Lightyear outfit in a stroller, and went to Walmart and Costco for some shopping by placing him in the shopping cart.

By the end of the day, he was able to finally go pee pee by himself, walk like a crab for most of the day, and then limp and walk semi-normal.  What a big relief.  I guess the Dr. M was right.  It might be a case of Toxic Synovitis. 

I am hoping by tomorrow, your brother could be back to normal, though we will still limit him walking too much or running.  Hopefully he can go back to school on Monday.


Love you,
Mommy

Wheezing + Allegies + Virus + Fever

*updated 9/30/09*
Mommy was so wrong. Your brother HATES the nasal chamber for the Albuterol. He did so well at the dr. office, but when we did that at home, he was kicking and screaming. I know it felt like he's being suffocated, but he gotta do it. I thought when he was sleeping, he wouldn't feel it. But when I woke up at 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. to do it, he woke up and struggled again. He did much better when I took him to Grandma's today.


Hello Logan,

So this is day 2 and your brother's fever is still around. I felt his forehead last night and early this morning, and he was fine. But after he's up and about, his forehead felt warm again. I measured his temperature with my not-so-accurate thermometer, and it was 99.5. If it was 99.5 with this crappy thermometer, I had a feeling it might be warmer.

So, I went on Kaiser's website to see if I would be lucky enough to get an appointment with the pediatrician today. Score! Appointment at 11:45 a.m., and I still have 1.5 hours to spare. I figured, since I am taking him to do the doctor, I should hold off the Motrin, so that we could get a more accurate temperature.

Your brother has been watching TV all morning. He was active and really was just himself. He did not seem lethargic, and his appetite though not huge, was definitely acceptable. So, I wasn't too concerned. I am more worried that he couldn't go to school tomorrow and I need to figure out how to take care of him, while going to work.

Aside from the fever, I noticed that yesterday and today morning, he was coughing up a storm. It seems to start when he first woke up, still lying in bed. But when he's up, then the coughing subsided.

So, your brother got his height and weight checked (40.5 inches and 36 lbs) and his temperature was at 99.9 degrees. I knew it's higher than what we measured at home. I told the doctor all the information that I had, he listened to your brother's lungs and voila! Wheezing! Doc asked if anyone in the family has asthma....Nope! I told him that Aidan did have one Albuterol treatment when he was very little, and then two more when we were in Macau. He said the possible wheezing, and maybe asthma, plus allergies might be causing the fever. On top of that, your brother might have caught a virus somewhere else (maybe at school since I know a few kids were out sick). Doc asked if I noticed Aidan coughing when he was running around (because of asthma). I don't think so, but then I am not 100% sure. I did notice he has a runny nose when he's at the park, or when I picked him up from school. I just always assume it was allergies, as he would be playing outside in the playground at school where there are trees and grass and dust.

So for now, your brother is prescribed with Albuterol treatment every 4 hours for the next day or two. Then nasal spray to help with the nasal drip twice a day, hopefully to help with the coughing. Doc also suggested to take Claritin for 4-6 weeks to help with allergies. "That's a long time! ", I said, but doc said the antihistamine was very mild and shouldn't be a problem. Doc said to do a phone appointment in 2 weeks to follow-up, and also to get the flu shot as well for the whole family.

Luckily, your big brother was a trooper. He didn't flinch during the Albuterol treatment, nor when I spray into his nostrils. He took the Claritin (like any other flavored medicine I give him) like a champ. I couldn't ask for a more cooperative little boy. But could I ask for a healthy boy? Is it too much to ask for a healthy son?

I also told Doc that we would be moving to Sunnyvale soon and would need to change to a different pediatrician. It was sad, as this Doc has been very supportive throughout your illness, and also your brother's care. He was nice, and quick to respond to my e-mails. He was sad, but said he has friends down in the Santa Clara Kaiser that he could refer us.

Let's hope your brother doesn't really have asthma for the rest of his life, and it's all because of the allergies and a possible virus that cause the wheezing. I know asthma is nothing too serious, but still, it could be for life. Logan, would you look after your big brother and pray for a speedy recovery for him?


Miss you,
Mommy

7 weeks x 7 days = 49 days

Dear Logan,

Mommy, big brother, Ah Gung, Ah Po and Auntie Mena all got up early this morning to go to the 7:30 a.m. mass in remembrance of your passing. According to Chinese tradition, this is the "end of 7", 7 weeks after you left. Remember when you were gone for a week, Ah Gung and Ah Po, also held a mass for you in Macau? That's the day you were buried as well. Aside from Church, today's a normal day for us. I actually took pictures of your picture and frame, candle and flowers, and wanted to post that up, but I couldn't find my memory card reader. I'll do that later.


Today also marked the 20th anniversary of the TianAnMen Square Massacre of 1989. The younger generation probably doesn't remember or know what's going on. Mommy was young then, but still remember what a big day it was. Mommy and classmates all participated in the demonstrations and protests of the event. Looking at pictures, reading stories, and listening to songs, brought back a lot of memories. I didn't attend any vigils, instead, I went out for some bubble tea with friends. It's nice to have some quiet chitchat with a few friends, and I've missed that.

Mommy forgot to tell you yesterday that I took your brother to see a doctor, as he still has a runny nose. He didn't have a fever, but got two shots and some bitter medicine. He also breathe in some vaporized medicine. I believe the doctor said his "lam ba", i think his glands in the mouth, are a little swollen. He was coughing at night, too. He went back to the doctor today and got two more shots. He only cried when the needles went in, otherwise, he's a tough little cookie. He's always been tough with needles. I told him I was so proud of him. I've noticed that he didn't cough as much last night. He still has a runny nose, but was definitely better than yesterday. Your brother took the medicine well yesterday (he's always liked medicine as they're sweet, but not this time). He's been less willing to take the medicine today.

Mommy, on the other hand, is feeling a lot better. My runny nose is gone, but I still have some mucous in my throat, and my cough still sounds coarse. But it's a lot better than before. I guess injections really do work much better and faster than medicine. I've just spent a lot of money on these injections and medicine between your brother and I.

Ah Po is recovering well. We took her out today for a little walk. She still walks slow but at least her face didn't turn pale. We went out for breakfast, to the playground, and to Macau Tower. Ah Po is well enough to scold us, so I think she's doing fine.

I hope you're doing just as well. Actually, I know you are. Mommy heard some not-so-good news today about a pregnant friend's baby today. Can you pray and keep an eye on that little one and his/her family? Thanks!

Time to sleep now. I didn't sleep much last night. Insomnia kicked in, and I had to wake up early today. I was thinking about you quite a bit last night, reviewing the images in my head on the day you left us. I had to force myself not to think, so that I could sleep.

Goodnight, honey.


Love you,
Mommy

Dragon Boat Festival!

Hi Honey,

Today is Dragon Boat Festival. Mommy hasn't seen any dragon boat races in a very long time. I started out my day with some jung (sticky rice dumpling), both sweet and salty. Your brother got to go to Mc Donald's with Auntie Mena, Auntie Hey Hey and Grandaunt. They wanted to introduce him to the evilness of Mc D.

We then headed to check out some dragon boat races. It was actually a very windy and cool day, best weather for races. We stayed for a little while, not too long, as it gets boring after a while and your brother won't have the patience to sit through the races. Besides, I made the mistake of dressing him too lightly and he was a little cold. We then had dim sum with Great Grandma, aunties and uncles and others who came from Guangzhou to see Ah Po.

Ah Po is doing well. She's still in the observation room, and not yet transferred back to her room yet. She's in pain, which is reasonable considered she just had surgery. She's able to eat some solids now. She was complaining about how hungry she was because she was on a liquid diet for the last day or two.

I think Mommy got your brother sick. He got a cold. Now I have to monitor and see if he has developed a fever. He's currently taking a nap and I gave him some medication before he slept. I hope it's nothing serious but just a common cold. We've been back for 2 weeks now, and let's hope it's not H1N1! It's probably just a cold that we don't have the immune system for.

Mommy, on the other hand, got two more shots today for my blood pressure. The numbers were down a little, from 160/100 to 140/92-95. Still on the pretty high range. I need to watch my diet (gotta cut back on the soy sauce when having sushi and sashimi), and then go back to the doctor in a few days for another blood pressure check.

Will keep you updated on how your brother is feeling tomorrow. Don't forget to watch over him, ok?

Miss you,

Mommy

Trial week is over

Grandparents came back from their little trip to Calgary yesterday. This week is supposed to be a trial week to see how we can take care of Aidan and Logan without their assistance. It didn't go as smooth as we would like, because both Hank and I got sick at the same time (as always). I got the flu and it hit me pretty hard on Wednesday. I had to tell Hank to work from home because I couldn't function in the morning, with a killer headache, runny nose, sore throat and feeling hot and cold, since the night before. Luckily, after sleeping for 4 hours and resting a little more, I felt a lot better. Still having a runny nose and cough at the moment, but definitely a big improvement.

During these past few days, we were very careful with our hand-washing and mask-wearing because we cannot get Logan sick. His airway is already tiny and taking in enough oxygen is already a challenge. If he gets sick with a runny nose and a cough, this could really be life threatening. Thank god he didn't seem to have caught anything.

Logan's acid reflux was a little better since my previous entry. At least there hasn't been any projectile vomiting yet (knock on wood). The pediatrician changed one of his medications. He is taking Reglan + Prilosec instead of Reglan + Zantac. Prilosec is supposed to turn off the acid pumps to the stomach. Let's hope the medication works because we could really see him suffer from the acid reflux. Sometimes I wonder if Logan also has colic as well. Logan also seems to have settled in a schedule of his own. He tends to wake up in the middle of the night between 2-4 a.m., then sleep through the morning and early afternoon, and then wakeup from late afternoon to around 10-11 p.m. He is definitely a night owl. This is not the best schedule for us, but at least it's a little more predictable. In a way, he sleeps through the night (as in sleeping 5-6 hrs), it just that his night is actually our day. Because he's feeding on the demand right now, it's good in a way that we have more free time and don't have to be as rigid with the schedule. However, I also worry about his weight gain since he's eating less. We'll have to wait till his check-up next week to see if he's gaining weight steadily.

Aidan, on the other hand, seems to continue enjoying being a big brother. When I change Logan's diaper, he would help me get the diaper and wipes. He would open up the diaper for me, get two wipes out (one for me and one for him) and he would wipe Logan as well. He actually wraps the diaper and throws that into the Diaper Champ for me without me asking. Wow! When he hears Logan cries, he would try to pat him on his chest to calm him down. Yesterday, I was calming Logan and I asked if he could bring the carseat from the living room to the bedroom. He knew which one I was talking about and dragged that all the way to the room. I immediately praised him and called him a good big brother and a good helper. However, we've also seen another side of him where he is acting like a baby. At daycare, we're told that when the other younger kids were drinking from a bottle, he would open his mouth and want some. He wants to be held a little more, and is a little reluctant to let me leave after I drop him off at daycare.

So far things are going well. Three more weeks until grandparents have to leave. Hopefully, by then Logan would be stronger and healthier.

Can't see Logan today because Mommy is sick

I caught a cold and because Aidan is not going to daycare today, I didn't see Logan. This is the first day since his birth that I haven't seen or touched him. It's sad but it's for the better. I don't want to get Logan sick esp. when he has trouble breathing, and I don't want to get all the babies and staff sick either.

I called the nursery to let the nurse know that I am sick and I won't be coming in. She told me that Logan has gained 2 ounces! Because of the change in feeding, he has gained weight. There were feedings when he didn't need the tube, but there were a few when he didn't take in all the milk and needed the tube. Either way, gaining weight is a good day. Maybe in a few days he would be eating so well and gaining weight that he won't need the feeding tube when he comes home. The nurse also checked in with the doctor that my parents could come in to see Logan when I am sick for the next few days (usually a parent has to be present). The doctor was supposed to call me to give me updates on Logan since I couldn't make it to the hospital today. Well, didn't get a call from him. In a way, that means there isn't any bad news. On the other hand, I got a call from a surgeon who wanted to check-in to see if we have decided whether to proceed with the gastrotomy. I told her that for the time being, we prefer the feeding tube as every surgery comes with risks and we just couldn't see our little baby having a surgery so soon. I did get some more info on the procedure and told her if needed in the future, we might reconsider. At this point, I am hoping Logan won't need the feeding tube for a very long time (and hopefully not at all).

Ending 2007 in sickness..... ugh....

Dan Dan has been sick for the last few days. First a runny nose and cough, and then started a low-grade fever for a couple days. Luckily he is getting better and the runny nose is almost gone. It worries me that he might have a stuffy nose when he's on the plane. Since it's his first flight, I have no idea how he would react. And if he's sick, this would just add more pressure to his little head and his ears might really hurt.

He has also lost his appetite the last few days. He used to eat almost everything, and a lot! But lately, he would take a couple bite and then refused to eat. Even his favorite apples and bananas, he won't even finish half of it. The only thing he would take was soup. But that's not enough to sustain his active lifestyle. Feeding has become a battle. It has become a battle between Dan Dan and Mommy/Daddy, and a battle between Mommy and Daddy on the philosophy of food battles. The pediatrician said one of the rules we should follow is never force a kid any food. No food fights! This is one thing that Mommy and Daddy are not agreeing on.

But thank god he's feeling better now and actually went to day care today. He came home eating just like he used to! I am not sure if it's because he saw other kids eating, or he's just feeling a lot better. He didn't eat as much as he used to yet, but he definitely ate everything we put on his plate. Thank God for that!

Now that Dan dan is getting better, Mommy and Daddy are sick. First Mommy, then Daddy. We seem to get sick together a lot. It sucks because it's the crucial time of the year and we definitely need to get well within the next 2 days. We definitely don't want to be sick on the plane, or any time during our month-long trip.

I vaguely remember we were also sick last New Year's Eve. Mmm... I guess flu shots are not perfect. Now let's see if Mommy and Daddy can actually stay up late enough to watch the New Year comes, while listening to Dan Dan coughing up a storm.

It's that time of the year to get sick...+... sleepless nights

We are all sick this week. First it's mommy catching a cold, then spreading it to daddy. Lastly, Aidan caught it, too. I think daddy and mommy got it a lot worse than him. He just ran around with a runny nose and coughing a little. With us, we had to call in sick from work.

We're supposed to go to a Pumpkin Carving event and a Halloween party yesterday. But since we're all sick, we just basically stayed home and didn't do much. It's a shame coz I wanted Aidan to wear his pirate costume. Actually, I wanted the whole family to wear the pirate costumes. Now we'll just have to resort to Halloween day trick-or-treating and pray for nice weather.

More sleepless nights for Aidan. I am not sure what has been happening to him. He hasn't been sleeping well for this whole month of October. Spooky! I think there were about 5 nights in October where he slept through the night and I actually got to sleep through the night. He's been waking up screaming for no reason. When we're on our trip, it took me 2 hours to get him to sleep, which I could understand because it's a new environment. But even before he went on the trip, he's been waking up.

2 nights ago, it was so bad that he woke up screaming like someone was torturing him. I worry our neighbors would call the cops and think that we're torturing him. Took me a while to get him back to sleep... with us. Last night, because we're all not feeling very well, daddy had to actually sleep on the couch, while mommy slept with Aidan in bed. Of course I didn't sleep very well because I worry Aidan might roll off the bed. I had to periodically wake up to check on him.

I hope this is only a developmental stage and this will pass. October is ending soon, and these night terrors (maybe?) or nightmares (maybe?) better stop!