7 weeks x 7 days = 49 days

Dear Logan,

Mommy, big brother, Ah Gung, Ah Po and Auntie Mena all got up early this morning to go to the 7:30 a.m. mass in remembrance of your passing. According to Chinese tradition, this is the "end of 7", 7 weeks after you left. Remember when you were gone for a week, Ah Gung and Ah Po, also held a mass for you in Macau? That's the day you were buried as well. Aside from Church, today's a normal day for us. I actually took pictures of your picture and frame, candle and flowers, and wanted to post that up, but I couldn't find my memory card reader. I'll do that later.


Today also marked the 20th anniversary of the TianAnMen Square Massacre of 1989. The younger generation probably doesn't remember or know what's going on. Mommy was young then, but still remember what a big day it was. Mommy and classmates all participated in the demonstrations and protests of the event. Looking at pictures, reading stories, and listening to songs, brought back a lot of memories. I didn't attend any vigils, instead, I went out for some bubble tea with friends. It's nice to have some quiet chitchat with a few friends, and I've missed that.

Mommy forgot to tell you yesterday that I took your brother to see a doctor, as he still has a runny nose. He didn't have a fever, but got two shots and some bitter medicine. He also breathe in some vaporized medicine. I believe the doctor said his "lam ba", i think his glands in the mouth, are a little swollen. He was coughing at night, too. He went back to the doctor today and got two more shots. He only cried when the needles went in, otherwise, he's a tough little cookie. He's always been tough with needles. I told him I was so proud of him. I've noticed that he didn't cough as much last night. He still has a runny nose, but was definitely better than yesterday. Your brother took the medicine well yesterday (he's always liked medicine as they're sweet, but not this time). He's been less willing to take the medicine today.

Mommy, on the other hand, is feeling a lot better. My runny nose is gone, but I still have some mucous in my throat, and my cough still sounds coarse. But it's a lot better than before. I guess injections really do work much better and faster than medicine. I've just spent a lot of money on these injections and medicine between your brother and I.

Ah Po is recovering well. We took her out today for a little walk. She still walks slow but at least her face didn't turn pale. We went out for breakfast, to the playground, and to Macau Tower. Ah Po is well enough to scold us, so I think she's doing fine.

I hope you're doing just as well. Actually, I know you are. Mommy heard some not-so-good news today about a pregnant friend's baby today. Can you pray and keep an eye on that little one and his/her family? Thanks!

Time to sleep now. I didn't sleep much last night. Insomnia kicked in, and I had to wake up early today. I was thinking about you quite a bit last night, reviewing the images in my head on the day you left us. I had to force myself not to think, so that I could sleep.

Goodnight, honey.


Love you,
Mommy

Separation Anxiety?

So we went to see the pediatrician today to find out if Dan Dan had an ear infection that caused him waking up almost every night. Turns out he's fine and despite some ear wax, no ear infection. So we just talked about the sleepless nights. Since there hasn't been any stress or change in Dan Dan's life or routine, and he wakes up at various times, the doctor said it's probably separation anxiety. This is what she suggested:

- a small night light because he might be scared when he wakes up and doesn't see mommy
- mommy will need to sleep in the same room with him to soothe him if he wakes up crying (not whimpering or whining in his REM sleep)
- do not pick him up or turn on the big light; just pet and soothe to make sure mommy is here
- once he seems better, move the mattress in his room a little farther away but still in his room
- eventually mommy goes back to her room

Doctor also recommended the book by Dr. Richard Ferber, 2nd edition of "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". She said it gotta be the 2nd edition, as the 1st edition has some controversial methods. Of course this is the doctor that's famous for the Crying-It-out Ferber method. As the doctor said, there's much to the CIO method than just letting your kid cry. I guess that's a very broad generalization and misunderstanding of his method. I'll see if I can find that book at the library so I don't have to buy it.

I am hoping Dan Dan won't wake up tonight as he's too tired today and we got him a nice fluffy pillow, just like how he likes to sleep on our comforter. He slept well last night, hopefully he'll sleep well tonight again. October is almost over, I am hoping for a better November.

It's that time of the year to get sick...+... sleepless nights

We are all sick this week. First it's mommy catching a cold, then spreading it to daddy. Lastly, Aidan caught it, too. I think daddy and mommy got it a lot worse than him. He just ran around with a runny nose and coughing a little. With us, we had to call in sick from work.

We're supposed to go to a Pumpkin Carving event and a Halloween party yesterday. But since we're all sick, we just basically stayed home and didn't do much. It's a shame coz I wanted Aidan to wear his pirate costume. Actually, I wanted the whole family to wear the pirate costumes. Now we'll just have to resort to Halloween day trick-or-treating and pray for nice weather.

More sleepless nights for Aidan. I am not sure what has been happening to him. He hasn't been sleeping well for this whole month of October. Spooky! I think there were about 5 nights in October where he slept through the night and I actually got to sleep through the night. He's been waking up screaming for no reason. When we're on our trip, it took me 2 hours to get him to sleep, which I could understand because it's a new environment. But even before he went on the trip, he's been waking up.

2 nights ago, it was so bad that he woke up screaming like someone was torturing him. I worry our neighbors would call the cops and think that we're torturing him. Took me a while to get him back to sleep... with us. Last night, because we're all not feeling very well, daddy had to actually sleep on the couch, while mommy slept with Aidan in bed. Of course I didn't sleep very well because I worry Aidan might roll off the bed. I had to periodically wake up to check on him.

I hope this is only a developmental stage and this will pass. October is ending soon, and these night terrors (maybe?) or nightmares (maybe?) better stop!