Not as bad a visit

Dear Logan,

Both Daddy and I thought that after last visit to see you, your brother might be aware that where you live might not be the happiest place on earth.  We've slowly seen him wanting to stay shorter and shorter.  And after last time's heart-breaking visit, we were worried that he wouldn't want to visit you anymore.

However, when I mentioned that we would be seeing you today, he happily said "yes" and said "I like Logan". What a sigh of relief.  He always likes to help me scrub your door and help me with your flowers.  He's really growing up to be a little helper.  So, whenever I went to get you flowers, I would let him pick out the flowers.  He always accompanies me and helps with getting water while I trim the flowers. 

The plan worked well today as well.  We went to Costco and he picked out the sunflowers for you.  Then he poured water into your door while I scrubbed it clean.  He sang you the number song that he learned at his new school, while I praised him for being a good, big boy.  It was a great visit.

I'm still glad that he hasn't asked the difficult questions about you yet.  I'm not sure how much longer I can avoid such questions, but for now, we'll keep our routine to have your big brother help me out as much as possible.  I don't want him to associate visiting you as a sad experience.


Miss you,
Mommy

Heartbreaking visit

Dear Logan,

Did it break your heart as well when Ah Po broke down and cried when visiting you?  I guess the thought of seeing you for the last time, and not being able to visit you more often really hit her.  When we first brought Ah Gung, Ah Po, Ah Yee and Kau Fu to see you, they were all calm and everything was fine.  Your brother was able to break the awkwardness by singing and dancing for you.  But because Ah Gung and Ah Po's trip was cut short, we had to see you one last time today before they all leave tomorrow.  Ah Po couldn't hold it anymore.  She just broke down and cried.  Ah Gung started sobbing as well.  I tried to hold it in as much as I could.  Aidan saw Ah Po crying, and I think it scared him a little bit.  He didn't know how to respond to the sudden change of emotions.  He chose to be in Daddy's car on our way to lunch, instead of coming with me.  I think he made the right choice.  My ride with Ah Gung and Ah Po to our lunch place was solemn.  I had to break the silence when we're close to the restaurant and informed them of our lunch options.

I'm not sure when they will be able to visit you again.  But I promise Mommy and Daddy and your big brother will come as often as we could.

Love and Miss you.
Mommy