Is Logan REALLY ready to go home?

According to the doctors, he seemed ready, with a few conditions: a feeding tube and oxygen tank. We have previously expressed our concern and reservations with Logan coming home with the cannula and oxygen tank. However, during today's rounds, the doctors think that Logan might be ready to go home, because at this point, what the hospital can do for us, we could do that at home with some extra equipment. They think that it's best for Logan to stay home with his parents, than to stay in the hospital. I understand it's better to be away from the hospital where it's easy to catch viruses and infections, but I couldn't help to think they just want to kick us out and give the spot to another baby.

Logan gained 5g today, but he's still not quite back up at his birth weight. He's already 3 weeks old, and for a term baby, he should have gained a pound already. Feeding is still an issue and without proper nutrition and gaining weight, he couldn't get stronger and build stronger muscles to help with the breathing. He eats between 45 ml to 85 ml of milk each day. However, he should be eating 60-90 ml consistently. Therefore, the doctors think that Logan should have a feeding tube put through his nose directly to his stomach to assist with feeding. We will continue to feed him, but whatever left and he doesn't take, it would be fed directly to his stomach through the feeding tube. I wasn't very excited about this because I secretly believe he could gain weight if given a few more days, as he's been on and off IV for a few times since birth. However, I also understand the importance of him gaining weight, esp. when he's also taking fortified milk with extra calories, yet weight gain is still a problem. If Logan were to go home, he would continue to need this feeding tube. Another option is to have this surgery called gastrotomy. We prefer avoiding any surgery if possible. The doctor said the surgery only takes about an hour and if he doesn't need the tube anymore, the incision will heal in a week. It's easier to do night time feeding with the surgery as you can set the machine to feed Logan (like setting a timer) and I wouldn't have to wake up. However, a surgery is a surgery. Who would want their baby to have a surgery this young if you can avoid it.

Aside from the feeding tube or gastrotomy, Logan would need the extra oxygen if he were to come home. He continues to need help with it and might need it for a few months. I guess there will be an oxygen tank at home for him with monitors, and a portable one for him to go out. I have no idea how big and how these things will work, but there will be specialists teaching us what to do.

We still don't know when Logan would be home. But from today's conversation, the doctors want us to take a few days to think about whether to keep the feeding tube or have the surgery. So I guess maybe Logan would be home next week. He will definitely be home for Christmas, though it's not how we have pictured his homecoming. There are so many other logistics to take care of and also how Aidan would react to a new baby who needs constant special attention from us, and all the machines that come with the baby.

(The picture is of Logan with his cannula for breathing, and a feeding tube through one of his nostrils.)

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With Aidan, we continued to decorate our Christmas tree. He is still very excited to see all the lights. Overall, he was being a very good helper and helping me in putting out the ornaments on the tree. Of course, we have to break a couple ornaments when Aidan didn't hang them up correctly and they fell on the floor. Most of the time, I only let him handle the shatter-free ornaments.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Backward...

Logan's numbers were not as good as yesterday. His oxygen level was back up to the 30s, and at feeding, it had to be at 40. The 4 hours Hank and I spent with him, he desat quite a few times. It was difficult to find that perfect position to hold his head. Actually, I don't know if there's actually a perfect position anymore. It really felt that 2 days ago, we made such good progress but yesterday and today, we went two steps backward.

I was optimistic that Logan could be home for Christmas, now I am not so sure. Maybe I shouldn't "push" him too much and he should take as much time as he needs. By the time he gets home, I think we would be so paranoid that we'll be watching him like a hawk, since there won't be any monitors beeping to alert us.

We're actually rethinking the idea of him sleeping in the bassinet of the playpen. At first we thought we don't really need to buy a crib yet. We were hoping to move and maybe lucky enough to buy a house some time this year. Then when we move, we can get the kids both new beds. But with Logan needed to sleep slightly upright, and with the Angel Care Movement Monitor that a friend so kindly lent us, it might be better to get a crib than a flimsy bassinet.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.


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We took Aidan to gym class today and he did pretty well. At least with some coercing, he actually participated and not just run around like a monkey. We also went to grandma's Community Holiday party and had some free food. Aidan ate so much I was afraid his stomach would explode. Of course with my mom kept on feeding him, it didn't help. Aidan loves spaghetti with tomato sauce, and let's not forget the ice cream cake. Yummy!

I promised Aidan today that we're going to set up the Christmas tree when I came home (from the hospital). However, we stayed a little longer than expected, so we're unable to decorate the tree. We did assemble the new tree and turned on the lights. I guess I am glad I bought a prelit tree so that even without all the decorations, the tree was still nice to look at. Aidan was really excited when he saw all the lights. Unfortunately, we had to restrict him from touching the tree. Thanks to the warning on the box that the plastic could expose you to lead! Let's see how we could control him from touching the tree for the rest of the holiday season. We had to turn off the lights of the tree early tonight because Aidan was misbehaving. He's been so spoiled these days ever since grandparents are here.

Christmas 2007

This Christmas was a quiet one. Aside from opening presents, it's like a normal Sunday. We got up, had breakfast and then proceeded with the presents. Aidan wasn't very interested in opening any of them! He's more interested in looking at the lights of the Christmas tree, and trying to grab my camera!

I got daddy to set up a tripod to videotape him, and then daddy took pictures while mommy helped Dan Dan open his presents. Aidan received a nice set of block books from Uncle Kyle and Auntie Leonor, a nice dinosaur transformer car and Spiderman memory game from Auntie Joanne, a bear with chocolates from Auntie Zoe (chocolates for Daddy and Mommy, of course!), a stuffed animal dragon from Khalida (day care provider), and a V-Smile Babysystem from Daddy and Mommy. He also received an early Christmas present from grandma, which was a very nice red coat that he's been wearing since!

After opening the presents, daddy and mommy took Dan Dan out to Orange Park and play. It was a beautiful day, a little chilly, but nonetheless a perfect day in the park. He enjoyed the swing, but was a little scared of the slides. He spent most of the time inside the Choo-choo train!

Dan Dan will be getting more presents next month when we went back to Asia to see more relatives!

Boys give mommies heartattacks

We met up with Leonor, Kyle and Melanie for some lunch on Sunday (12/23/07) . It was pure craziness! I guess since it's the final days before Xmas, everywhere was packed with last-minute shoppers. We finally ended having lunch at Marie Callendar because Moonstar was packed. Lunch was fine and food was just OK. Didn't really expect a whole lot. Basically, we just want somewhere the kids could walk around and won't be such a bother if they cry.

Melanie has grown so much! She is such an adorable little girl. Makes me want to have a little girl even more. Aidan was being his charming little self for the most part. It was not until the end of lunch and after sitting for over an hour that he finally lost his patience. He was doing fine and playing with Melanie, until he ran into the corner of a table. And I mean he really RAN into it! Poor boy got a black eye. Thank goodness he was tall enough to miss hitting right in the eye, but a little below the right eye. He would have to be a panda for the next few days. Being the little champ that he was, he only cried for a little while. Hank told me Melanie walked into the same corner but since she was walking slower and she's a little shorter, the impact wasn't as great.
I don't know how many bruises he is going to get in the future. As long as there isn't any broken bones, and CPS wasn't called, I am fine. When we got home, I put a stuff animal right at the corner of our futon bed/couch so he won't run into it. He often times runs without looking where he is going. Definitely needs to get a leash for him when we go back to Asia. I don't think grandparents can keep up with him and I don't want him to run into traffic.

At night, we went over to check out some Xmas lights at the Chestnut neighborhood in South City. We went at around 5:30 p.m. which was earlier than last year. Maybe coz it was too early, not all the houses were lit up yet. Since it's getting cold, I didn't want Dan Dan to be in the cold. A couple houses still amazed me with their decorations. It's amazing how much time and effort (and $) people put into each year's decorations. Dan Dan didn't fully enjoy it despite the fact he loves the little lights and tree we have at home. Maybe next year he could fully enjoy the amazing decorations. We will make this as our annual holiday tradition (as long as we live close enough to the area).

Thanksgiving Weekend

I know it's a little late to blog about Thanksgiving. I've been meaning to write more often, especially, at that right moment when Aidan was so cute. But once that moment is gone, I got lazy again.

So, Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. Had dinner at Paul and Rachel's. The food was good and I don't think I overate. I would love to, but it's really kinda hard to do that when you're chasing after a toddler all the time. The rest of the weekend was spent on shopping. I definitely didn't participate in the Black Friday craziness. However, I did shop at around 10 a.m., just not 5 a.m. Aside from getting clothes for Aidan, there wasn't any big purchases the whole weekend. I remember last year, i really wanted to get a laptop and there was a reason to look at Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales. This year, I just browsed ads and websites unconsciously.


We went to Hillsdale Shopping Center on Saturday and saw that they already set up the Santa photo props. There wasn't a line so I figured, why not go ahead and take a pictures? This is Aidan's first picture with Santa Claus. I was surprised that he wasn't scared at all. He actually sat still and we were able to take one good picture. The picture package was somewhat expensive and the quality wasn't THAT great. But what the heck, it's for my cutiepie.



Thanksgiving weekend was also spent on decorating my Christmas Tree. I've been debating for a very long time whether I should get a new fake tree. This tree that I had, has been with me for years and it's really not that pretty. But since I didn't want to spend too much money, we ended up using this tree for another year. Hopefully, next year I would be able to get a new one. We got new LED lights for the tree and I was glad we did. The colored lights were so much nicer than my old set of lights and Aidan liked them so much more. We've set a timer so every night from 6-9 p.m., the lights would go on automatically. Each time Aidan saw the lights, he would say "Waaa". So cute!