When I was pregnant with Logan, I was worried that I wouldn't love him as much as Aidan. How can you not love Aidan because he's my first baby and he's the best baby in the world. He's happy, funny, easy (no colic, no vomiting, no health problems, no issues), and he's adorable! I love him more than anything in the world. It's when you become a mom, that you realize you can love someone that much. Of course we have our share of freaky moments with Aidan. We've had our share our ER visits, though nothing major happened. We worried about his development, but we also enjoyed his every milestone. With such a 'perfect' baby, how could I love someone else as much ?
Here comes Logan. A very different baby than Aidan in every single way. Of course, we know he has his fair share of doctors and specialists visits, and he scared the heck out of us. The love I have for him is different. It's the over-protective motherly love. It's the I-would-rather-suffer-for-you-than-to-see-you-suffer kind of love. Do you know what I mean? He's not fragile anymore. He has actually gained quite a bit of weight (hooray!), yet every time I look at his face, I want to hold him and kiss him, and protect him from all those evil needles and tests. People say with the second child, you don't have to worry about milestones as your first child. You can actually sit back, relax and enjoy each of them. Oh no, they are so wrong. It doesn't apply to a baby like Logan, or maybe any preemie. I worry about his development. I worry he won't meet those milestones on a timely manner. He hasn't smiled yet and he's almost 3 months old! By 3 months, Aidan could hold up his head pretty well already, yet Logan's still floppy. I don't blame Logan for not smiling. How could he smile when he has gone through so much. How could anyone? Yet, I want to see that smile! He has some fake ones (when he's sleeping and when he's trying to move his cheeks to get rid of the nasal cannula, which looks like he's smiling). I was hoping he would smile for Ah Gung and Ah Po, as they have spent so much time taking care of him. Too bad, no smile. They went back to Macau now and hopefully, next time they come to visit (maybe in the summer), Logan would be happier and more engaging.
Weight = 13 lbs 4 oz!!
2 comments:
Wow, V. I loved this entry. And I am really happy that everything is fine in regards to the tests so far....Although I understand that maybe its not as relieving as it sounds since there are so many unanswered questions. I wish you the best and I hope the family is happy. Love-Shelley
:-) You've beat me to it in writing this in your blog! I was about to write about the same feelings I have for Cola & EggEgg. (Now I have one less blog entry to write about...)
I'm glad to read that Logan is progressing well! Don't worry too much, Logan is such a special baby, I'm sure lots of girls will be enchanted by his smile by the time he's a teenager! Heehee.
Cheers, Evelyn
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