Merry Christmas to you, my dear!

Dear Logan,

I was so glad that yesterday was not a rainy day.  It's been raining so much the last few weeks that I felt bad I couldn't stop by to visit you.  Thank God, on Christmas Eve, there's no rain!


Just like last year, everywhere was a filled with red flowers when we arrived at your place.  We noticed more little ones reside next to you.  Aidan performed his two Christmas songs for you, and it was nice to bring some holiday cheer to such a sad place.  When we're about to leave, we saw an earthworm climbing on you.  Your brother found that very fascinating.  I told him the earthworm probably heard his singing and wanted to come up to listen to some more.  I also told him that the earthworm would keep you company, so you're not alone.  He then asked me about you.  Why is Logan here? *pointing to you*  I wasn't expecting him to ask that question.  I simply told him that you were very sick, and couldn't come home with us.  But you are at your own place now, and with other children keeping you company. 

I saw a young couple visiting their baby.  I didn't look closely, but I could tell the baby started living close to you not too long ago.  Though the baby's mommy was wearing sunglasses, I could tell that she was sobbing.  The combination of Aidan's question about you, seeing this mom, and the holiday season, brought me great sadness.  I couldn't help but wish you were here with us, just like 2 years ago.  I can't believe this is the second Christmas without you.

We went to Christmas Mass today, and guess who presided?  It's Father Seimas.  After yesterday's sadness, it was nice to see Father Seimas on Christmas Day.  It just felt that he has brought you to us.  Although St. Joseph is not the closest Church to our house, you led us to this parish, and this will be our go-to Church from now on.  I think even Daddy felt that way.

Merry Christmas, my dear.  I wish you were here physically, but I know you are here with us all the time.


Miss you,
Mommy

Christmas Update

Hello Logan,

Christmas has come and gone, and I didn't get a chance to tell you all the fun things that we did. It would be too long to list every single thing that we've done, so I am just going to write a little update. I think I might have to look at pictures we've taken to refresh my memory.

Christmas Eve:
- Started the day by making our annual gingerbread house. After going to several stores to locate a set, finally found one at Lucky's. So, your brother and I built our gingerbread house together.
- Went to Auntie Alex's house for lunch. Daddy and his coworkers still had to work that day, so they decided to all head over to Auntie Alex's house to work. Daddy made some huge burgers, and we had lunch there.
- At night, we met up with Uncle John and Auntie Katie for dinner in downtown San Jose. We were going to go to Old Spaghetti Factory, but it was closed. So we went to another restaurant around the corner.
- Headed over to Christmas in the Park. It was a lot of fun. I've been wanting to take your brother there to check out the decorations, trees and lights. I think everyone had a lot of fun. Daddy got Aidan a light saber as a souvenir.

Christmas Day:
- Of course in the morning, we opened Christmas presents. Your brother was eager to try out the big keyboard that Grandma and Yeh Yeh gave him. He couldn't quite play the keyboard yet, but he definitely knew how to play the recorded "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" after I taught him once.
- Then we headed over to see you and brought you. It was a busy and festive day even at your place. We see a lot of potted poinsettias around, and a few very decorated areas.
- Went to our annual Christmas Mass at St. Joseph. I knew we should go more often. Whatever I say would just be excuses excuses.
- After lunch at Cupertino, we headed home and tried to get your brother to sleep before heading over for an early Christmas dinner. Of course, the more we wanted him to nap, the more he wouldn't nap. He ended up falling asleep on our way to Auntie Karen and Uncle Greg's house.
- A love Christmas dinner with good friends. It was a nice way to end a busy Christmas Day.

That's all we did for Christmas. I'll tell you more about our Snow trip!


Love you,
Mommy

Merry Christmas!

Dear Friends and Family,

2009 has been a roller coaster ride for our family. We celebrated the new year by welcoming Logan home from the hospital, and the company of Virginia's parents. We also celebrated Aidan's 3^rd birthday in January. We enjoyed and treasured the family time we had, until things started to go downhill.

Logan has gotten very sick and left us in April. That was the lowest point of our lives. But instead of focusing on the negative, we have learned to think of the great things that Logan has brought us. He brought our family closer and friends together (those that we haven't had contact in the last 10 years!). He showed us how lucky we are to be surrounded by caring people. We had friends and family offering advice, prayers, food, gifts, and most importantly, emotional support. We are truly blessed. This is what we are going to remember Logan by.

In May, Hank stayed back in California to hold down the fort, while Virginia and Aidan went to Macau for a vacation. It was a much needed vacation and we were showered with love from family and friends we haven't seen in a long time. Aidan was totally spoiled by everyone! Grandparents, uncles and aunties, and little cousins all wanted a piece of him, and showered him with love, gifts and good food. No wonder he was so chubby then! Virginia also got to hang out with her old friends, to catch up, and to chat about life as parents. Most importantly, we were glad to be back when Virginia's mother had surgery, and Aidan was there to lift up her spirits.

Virginia finally went back to work in July, after an 8-month leave of absence. Life is somewhat back to normal, and work has been keeping us busy. Hank survived a round of lay-offs at Yahoo. We're lucky to still have jobs, while seeing many got laid-off.

We've seen Aidan grown up a lot since we got back from our Asia trip. There had been concerns at school about him not listening in class, short attention span and not sitting still. But for some reason, he seemed to have matured within our one-month vacation. He is able to express himself better in words, will sit down during storytime at school, and can hold a conversation. Of course, he is also very good at selective listening (translation: not listening to what we wanted him to do but continued doing what he wantsed to do). He has shown a little more interests in painting/drawing, but his obsession with numbers, cell phones, cameras and laptops has just gotten stronger.

In mid-November, we moved into our new townhome in Sunnyvale! Everyone was excited and nervous about this new change. Aidan was happy to have more room for him to run around, and stairs to climb up and down. He has his own room, yet he still comes over to our bed every morning and sleeps horizontally on top of us!

It's December now, and our new home is 80% furnished. We're glad to end this year on a positive note. In less than a month, Aidan will be turning 4! Time sure does fly!

Lastly, we want to wish you all a very Happy and Healthy 2010! Please stay in touch!

Love,

Aidan, Hank and Virginia

Holiday Cards...

Hi Logan,

This year, we finally did the cheesy thing. We sent out holiday cards with our picture on it. Yes, we did the unspeakable!

Ever since the birth of your brother, I've been wanting to do that. But I never did, thinking it was a little too cheesy to do that. Then last year, I finally wanted to do it, especially, since we have added you to our family. But then, I said, I'll wait for another year, because we didn't know when you would be out of the NICU. And by the time you were discharged, you still had your feeding tube and nasal cannula, so I canceled the thought again. I said to myself, I could do it next year when we could have a nice family picture. Year after year, I wanted to do it, but I didn't.

This year, after a minor internal struggle, I decided to finally take a family picture in front of our Christmas tree, and take that family picture. I felt guilty for doing it, because you weren't here. But then, I couldn't feel guilty every year, and kept on not doing things and not moving on, right?

Even though you're not in the picture, you're definitely in our hearts. Your spirit continues to live among us, and also in the special ornament that I purchased for you last year.


Miss you,
Mommy

Christmas 2008

Christmas was a lovely day. As mommy was explaining to Aidan when he refused to wash his hands for dinner, Christmas is a time for family. It's a time when family all get together and sit together for dinner. Family includes daddy, mommy, ah gung (grandpa), ah po (grandma), Aidan and Logan, that's why we all need to sit down and enjoy our Christmas dinner. He bought it and went to wash his hands. He has grown to accept reasoning and will not listen if you just bark our your orders.

The best Christmas gift for us is to have Logan join us. When he was at the ICN, that's what we wished for, even though he still has all his tubes, at least he appears healthy to us. We also dressed him up as Santa's Little helper. So cute!

Christmas morning was filled with gifts and pictures. We took tons of pictures (you can see more pictures at our photo gallery at http://aidan.mrtoga.net) and Aidan opened many gifts (the most of his 3 Christmases), thanks to family and friends. But guess what, his favorite gift was his brother's Rainforest Waterfall Soother that grandparents bought Logan. He just loves anything with music and lights. It took us a good hour or more for all the picture taking and presents opening in the morning. Fun times.

Then we headed to our annual Christmas mass (except Daddy and Logan who stayed at home). It's been a long time since mommy went to Church. Aidan went when he was a baby and when he was about a year old. After he could walk, we stopped going, worried that he would be running around and causing trouble. We only go on Christmas Day. Yes, we're THAT type of Catholic. :) As suspected, Aidan couldn't sit still at church. Mommy had to watch him closely at the back of the church where other kids and parents were hanging out. He was running around, playing with doors (his favorite thing in the world), looking at the lights, and being his talkative little self. Actually, it wasn't too bad.

In the afternoon, Aidan spent time with grandparents playing with his bubble gun. For some reason, he's scared of touching bubbles. He likes to see them, but not touch them. He is slowly overcoming that fear play by play. Mommy then built a gingerbread house with Aidan. That must be the ugliest gingerbread house in the world. But you know what, it's the process and the experience that count, and not the end result, right? At least Aidan had fun putting the candies on the house, while licking his frosting-coated fingers.

With all the craziness going on in the house, we're unable to cook our Christmas dinner. But that doesn't prevent us from having our nice big turkey, thanks to Lucky's Holiday dinner! All we needed to do was pop the turkey in the oven and microwave the side dishes. Voila! It tasted pretty good, too! We also brought Logan out to the kitchen and to enjoy dinner with us. Like I told Aidan, Christmas is a time to spend with the family, and we can't do that without Logan.