March of Dimes/March for Babies 2011

Dear Logan,

We participated in the March of Dimes/March for Babies walk again this year with Team The Arc of San Francisco.  Our team raised over $4000!  What an amazing amount and my client did a spectacular job soliciting, well, harassing, for donations.  I was fortunate and grateful enough to raise about $1000.  Not a bad amount despite all the different tragedies happening recently around the world.

We stayed over at Grandma and Yeh Yeh's house the night before the walk.  This saved us a lot of time.  I picked up Lola Lolita bright and early in the morning to head over to Fort Mason first.  Daddy, Aidan and Grandma came a little later in a separate car.  It was yet another gorgeous day at Fort Mason.  You can see the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge as we walked along the beach.  This time around, we didn't go all the whole way to the end and back.  Last year, we had a stroller for Aidan, so it was fine if we walked more.  This year, he's all on his own and it would be difficult for us to complete the whole 6.25 miles.  Grandma was the one in the best shape.  I have to say, I am very proud of Aidan.  He walked 95% of the 3 miles that we did.  I only needed to carry him towards the end of the walk.  He stayed close to Grandma most of the time, and it didn't hurt that Grandma had a whole backpack full of yummy snacks.



It was a lot of work putting together this walk for the team.  However, as Lola said, after all said and done, it was totally worth it.  My body was sore for the next two days.  My feet were tired, and my muscles were sore from carrying the heavy items in and out of my car, and up and down the hill.

However, I look forward to next year's walk!

Miss you,
Mommy

March for Babies

Dear Logan,

Sorry I didn't get to write to you earlier. It's been a busy week and I finally got to sit down in front of my computer and concentrate on writing to you. Last Saturday's walk was wonderful. There was a great turnout and it appeared that there were many more walkers this year than last year.

Team The Arc of San Francisco was able to raise about $4000! How amazing is that! More than half of that amount was raised by my clients. I was so proud of them to be so actively soliciting donations from their friends, family and coworkers. About $700 was raised by our Adobo Chicken Lunch Sale and the Coffee and Bagel Sale. An about $1000 was raised by Mommy. I am grateful that friends continue to support my effort to raise money. Even though you're not born a preemie, I still felt a close connection to all the little babies we saw at the NICU, and especially when this walk happens each year so close to your anniversary.

The night before the walk, we stayed at Grandma's house so that we didn't have to drive up to SF early in the morning. I couldn't sleep that night. My brain was too busy thinking about the walk and I was too anxious. Even though I didn't have coffee all day on Saturday, adrenaline was pumping and I was full of energy. But by the end of the day, my coffee headache came and I needed my 'drug'.

We arrived at Fort Mason at around 8:30 a.m. and I frantically tried to locate a table or a tent for our team. I then found out that only companies with big sponsors got one of the white tents. I then located a spot right next to the stage and waited for my clients and staff to arrive. People slowly arrived in groups by bus. The walk started at around 9:20 a.m. Uncle Yance and his friends joined us again this year and we all did the whole 6.25 miles. I was happy to see that some clients and staff made it all the way as well. Everyone seemed to be very excited and it didn't hurt that the weather was beautiful. Your brother walked about 2 miles with Grandma, and then sat in the stroller on his way back. I was glad I borrowed back the stroller I gave away for your brother. I wouldn't want to carry him back. I was so tired.

After the walk, we headed back to Grandma's house for a long afternoon nap. Had dinner with her and then drove back home. If we drove home right after, your brother would just sleep uncomfortably in the car and then wake up when we got home. That means none of us would be able to recuperate. The following days, I was so sore. Mommy is really out of shape.

It was a great event and I am glad we got to do this again. It's too soon to think about next year. A lot can happen in a year.

Were you watching us while we walked? We're doing it in memory of you.


Love you,
Mommy

Chicken Adobo Lunch Sale!

Dear Logan,

Mommy is proud to say that we have raised over $420 during our Chicken Adobo Lunch sale at work for March for Babies last Thursday. We spent most Wednesday at work preparing for the food. We made 5 big pots of chicken drumsticks! Well, since Mommy's not really a cook, I was just in charge of chopping tons of garlic, washing dishes and last minute Costco run for extra chicken and other ingredients. Lola Lolita was the main driving force behind this event. I owed all the success to her leadership and her forcefulness in getting people to help out and to buy our lunches. Lola is the best!

The actual sale was last Thursday, April 8. We had so much chicken, I was worried we would have a lot of leftovers. Luckily, we sold everything! For $5 a plate, we sold over 80 plates! People started getting their lunches from 9:30 a.m., all the way till 1:30 p.m. I was so tired at the end of the day, even though I was just in charge of collecting money. I bet our chefs were super tired, though they didn't show a bit.

Next week, we'll be doing a coffee and bagel sale. We're lucky enough to be able to get donations, so we don't have to purchase much. Of course, Lola was the one that assisted in getting all the donated goodies. She has an excellent working relationship with Noah's and Salesforce.com to get them to donate coffee and bagels to us. Unfortunately, I won't be able to help out, but I think we'll be just fine.

Just two more weeks to the big March for Babies Walk!


Love you,
Mommy

March for Babies

Dear Logan,

It's that time of the year again. It's time to get ready for the March for Babies Walk in April. This is such a bittersweet event. Last year when I walked, it was a week after your passing. I debated whether to do it, or just donate all the money that we received. When I decided to walk, I never in a million years expected you not to be around anymore. But God has other plans. Instead of walking in Honor of you, I walked in Memory of you.

This year, I am walking In Memory of you again. The event, once again happens almost a week after your anniversary. I really can't think of a more time-appropriate and meaningful way to remember you, than to do this walk. A little different this year is that I am walking as Team The Arc of San Francisco, instead of Team Logan The Lobster. Last year, my friends at work organized a walk themselves because of you. This year, I think I am going to organize it to get my clients involved in such a meaningful cause again. I don't know what the turnout would be, since I don't work in the SF office and is kind of difficult to get my co-workers and clients to get all excited about this event. But either way, even if there's only one other client walking, I will be doing it.

Since we moved down to Sunnyvale, we will have to get up really early this year to get to the event by 9 a.m. I am still not sure if I will be bringing your brother or Daddy with me. I am pretty sure I will since we're doing this for you. I have set my monetary goal a little smaller this year. Last year, unexpectedly, we received overwhelming support from our friends and families. I think it was because of your passing, and people really were moved and touched by all that we have gone through. This year, it might be a little different, though I have already received generous donations from my friends already. I am pretty sure I will reach my goal, as both Daddy and Mommy will donate to the cause ourselves, and should pretty much be able to reach our $500 goal.

Will you be walking with us in spirit? I bet you will!


Miss you,
Mommy

March of Dimes - March for Babies

Dear Baby,

A Grand Total of $3613!!!! That's all the donation Team Logan The Lobster received!!!

We had such a wonderful walk today. You would be so proud of your Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Big Brother. Though we didn't do the whole 6.25 miles, we did 2/3 of it, which is the Family Walk. We got to Fort Mason right at 8 a.m. and Uncle Yance and his friend were already there. We hung out for a while, had breakfast and got some juices and snackies for your big brother. It was windy but it was nice and sunny. Mommy loves to see bright sunny blue sky. Auntie Shelley then joined us shortly and she was able to raise $200 worth of donation from her friends! Mommy also met up with her co-workers and friends from The Arc. They participated in this event because of you. Mommy is so grateful that so many staff and clients showed up for the event. Mommy will personally go back to The Arc on Wednesday and thank them all. I haven't been back since I started my maternity leave. I've been wanting to bring you back, but we never got the chance to. You're so loved by them all, even though they have never met you. You could see from the pictures below how much fun we had. Grandma was such a good sport! She was carrying and chasing after your big brother and also pushing the stroller all the way back. She got a lot more exercise than Mommy and Daddy! Mommy really needs to exercise more. My legs are already sore! Were you watching over us? Did you ask God to grant us such great weather as well?

This is your big brother with his March of Dimes shirt. Since they didn't have a kid's size, he was wearing it like a dress. Your brother loved it!



This is the poster that Mommy tried to send out the other day but couldn't make it work. So, I had to print it out myself. It's a little smaller because I didn't have legal size paper.



This is the Mission Mile poster section. You were accompanied by all these babies. Wow, look how special you are! All in the middle. Actually, another baby joined you in the special section later on.



Your big brother Aidan enjoying his juice. He had so many juice boxes today that I lost count!



Big brother was playing with Grandma's walker. He was enjoying the music most of the time, and that kept him busy and entertained.



Team Logan The Lobster! Uncle Yance, Daddy, Mommy, Big Brother, Grandma, Auntie Trinh, Yoori the Doggie, and Auntie Shelley. Mommy is waiting for the official Team picture to be e-mailed to me. Hopefully soon!



This is just a gorgeous view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Honey, I hope you enjoyed the picture. We did it all in memory of you. Because of you, your big brother has his first charity event. We will do more of this in the future. For now, take care of yourself and go play with the little angels.


Love you,
Mommy

A Realization

Dear Baby Logan,

Mommy started off today on the wrong feet. Mommy forgot to do the Mission Mile poster for tomorrow's walk last night and was scrambling this morning to get it sent by 9 a.m. After messing it with for a while, it didn't work out as planned. I would have to print it out and bring that in tomorrow instead. During all this frustration, Mommy realized something. I thought I was fine. I was keeping myself busy this whole week with different errands, going to different places. Mommy didn't cry a whole lot. There were moments when I got teary-eyed, but I did fine for the most part. But when I was so frustrated and upset this morning, Mommy broke down. I wasn't doing as good as I thought I am. I was so upset at myself. I know it takes time, since you it's only been a week and two days since you left us, but I still miss you lots.

Did you hear Mommy and Daddy's voice today? We were at your new home visiting you, and brought you your toys that have kept you company when you were at the hospital. Mommy was also trying to salvage the roses that your grandparents gave you. Since we left the flowers there on Wednesday, we were unable to attend to them as there was no place to put them. Mommy was able to trim the roses and put them in a vase, and also put the potted chrysanthemum nicely on your temporary door. Mommy has also taken a 360 degree view of your new home because I know Ah Gung and Ah Po would like to know what your new home looks like.

We were at the office and tried to pick out a "door" for you. This is going to take some time because we want to get it right. We've made copies of the fonts and pictures that we like, and then Daddy and Mommy will decide what to write on your it. Mommy will definitely get it done before I go back to Macau. It's going to take a while before you have this new "door" to your new home. Hopefully, you will like it.

Remember Mommy told you Daddy and I went over to KB Home yesterday to check out our future home? Daddy told the Sales Rep about you and today we got a surprise from them. The Sales Team at KB Home sent us this pot of beautiful pink flowers! Aren't they sweet? Logan, you have been bringing the kindness and generosity out of everybody. Mommy is so proud of you.

So, tomorrow is the big walk. Mommy will take tons of pictures to show you, and will tell you all about it. Remember to watch us up in heaven with all the other babies whose families are walking in their memory as well.

Love you,
Mommy

A Busy Day!

Dear Baby,

Wow, Mommy had such a busy day today! It started when I dropped off your big brother from school at 9:30 a.m. and ended after I picked him up at arrived home at 7 p.m. Non-stop! Let me tell you what I did today.

After dropping your brother off at school, Daddy and Mommy went down to the location of our future home. It's the first meeting with the Superintendents and our future neighbors at our new townhome in Sunnyvale. We toured around the site and saw that the foundation has been poured. We will have more of these meetings in the future, showing us step-by-step how our home will be built. This is exciting! This is probably going to be the only meeting that Mommy could attend. When I go back to work, it would be difficult to come down to Sunnyvale. But Daddy will try to attend those meetings. We met our future neighbors, who we have met several times when going to the model homes. This family has a young baby daughter with Down Syndrome, and is about your age. The mommy asked me how you're doing, and I had to break the news to her. I know she's sad for us, as her daughter is going through some medical issues herself, and she could imagine the pain that we're going through. But it's nice to see friendly and familiar faces, and to know that they will be living right across from us in the future.

Mommy and Daddy then went back up to San Bruno and had lunch with my old high school friend, Auntie Julie and her husband Uncle Andy, who are visiting from New York. It's been many years since I last saw Auntie Julie. Mommy visited New York many years ago, and Auntie Julie was nice enough to let me stay at her place. Auntie Julie has been very supportive of what's going on and has asked her Church friends to pray for you. Aren't you a lucky little fellow?

Mommy and Daddy then went to another appointment at Kaiser for your big brother. We attended an orientation on the services that their Child Psychiatry Dept provided. We also talked to the psychologist a little bit about your big brother, as your big brother's school was concerned about some of his behaviors and suggested us get him evaluated for Autism. Mommy will have another phone interview with the doctor on Monday, and then will bring your big brother in on Wednesday. Please pray for your big brother. Make sure he's fine. Mommy is not sure how much more emotional stress she can take if your brother were to be diagnosed with Autism. Mommy deeply feels that he is fine, but is scared that the doctor would tell me otherwise.

Mommy's day continued with finally buying plane tickets to go back to Macau. Mommy and your big brother will be going back from May 12 to June 20. I know this is a long time, but Mommy wants to make sure we're back to cheer up Ah Po before her surgery. Your Uncle Carlos and Auntie Mena are also helping us plan our Hong Kong Disneyland trip. Oh, how I want you to be able to go to this "happiest place on earth" with us.

Mommy then went to Bank of The West in Burlingame to drop off the checks for the March for Babies Walk, and got some T-shirts for the walk on Saturday as well. Well, the sizes of the shirts are not perfect for everyone, but at least we have shirts! This is going to be exciting. Mommy also had a conference call with other mommy walkers earlier tonight. It's nice to hear everyone's story and how inspired they are to walk this Saturday. I am really looking forward to it. We all love you, honey, and this event is for you.

Mommy ended the day with attending your big brother's preschool Annual Spring Picnic. Mommy really didn't know what to expect, but was glad to have attended. Your big brother had a lot of fun eating all the fruits and cookies, and totally ignored the puppet show until after it's over. I guess for him food is more important than the puppet show. Mommy also saw how your big brother interacted with his friends. I was glad I didn't see any hitting. The other boy was a little 'wilder' than your big brother, but they mostly played nice. Not much damage, aside from sand in the hair.

Wow, Mommy had a long day! I would have to go to sleep soon. Tomorrow is another big day. Mommy and Daddy would be going to see you and to select your marker. Would you please inspire Mommy tomorrow so that I could select something you like? How about an angel? Mommy wants an angel to always watch over you because I know you will be our guardian angel from above.

I'll see you tomorrow, dear. Mommy will bring you some toys to keep you company, ok?


Miss you,
Mommy

I was gonna do this and that.. but...

Hi Sweetheart,

How are you doing today? Daddy was bugging Mommy for the last hour and a half on finalizing the options and upgrades for our new place. We are having our appointment with KB Home tomorrow. Daddy is always so last minute. Should have done this earlier so that it won't cut into my time in talking to you! When Mommy went to the model home, I saw this beautifully decorated nursery with a Winnie The Pooh theme. It was so pretty and I thought, maybe I could get that for your future room. I like the nice, comforting colors of green and yellow, and the stencils on the wall. The last time we went for our first appointment, before the diagnosis and all the bad news, I really wanted to get you that room. At the time, I knew the road ahead of us would be tough. But I was mentally prepared to do whatever it takes to get you home. I knew it would be difficult if you were to have the tracheostomy, but I was up for the challenge. Unfortunately, things have changed so much within the last 2-3 weeks. The dream of decorating a nursery for you is gone. I never really got to decorate one for your big brother, since we're only renting. Now that we're finally going to have our own place, I had big plans on decorating your room and your big brother's. Instead of decorating your room, we would have to decorate your lawn level marker for your grave. :(

Mommy didn't do much today. It was 95 degrees here and our house was just stuffy and hot. The only time Mommy got to breathe was when I was driving your big brother Aidan to and from school, while blasting the A/C. Mommy also called up four different travel agencies and price-check/compare the airfare to fly back to Macau to see Ah Gung and Ah Po. I tried to check the airfare and hotel packages to Hong Kong as well, so that we could head over to Disneyland. I think Mommy is just going to take your big brother on Eva, and then head to Hong Kong on the weekend with your uncle and auntie.

Mommy didn't get a chance to order the Family Team T-shirts for the walk this Saturday. Just when I was planning to order them and to see how many of our friends are going, that's when your diagnosis came in. I didn't have the mood or the energy to order the T-shirts. But now the walk is fast approaching, I am hoping I could get some shirts from the March of Dimes office. I think I am going to give them a call tomorrow, or I'll just go print some shirts myself. I should also call up the T-shirt company to see if they could Fedex it to me. If not, we'll just walk for the walk in your memory.

Love you,
Mommy

March for Babies - Thank you!!!

Thank you very much for everyone's donation to March for Babies. I have WAAAYY passed my goal!! Yay!!! My original goal was set at $500. As of now, I have already received $1028!!! Just by looking at my banner, it only said about $615 because that's the donation and pledges made to my personal page. But there are also donations made through my Team Logan The Lobster page. Adding donations from both pages, I have doubled what I initially set to achieve.

THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!!

Now, anyone actually wants to walk with me on April 25th at 9 a.m. in San Francisco???

April 25, 2009

Bay & Laguna Streets

San Francisco, CA 94123
Walk Distance: 6.25 miles
Registration Time: 8:00AM
Start Time: 9:00 AM

Reflections of Logan's ICN stay

After Logan's month-long stay at the Intensive Care Nursery, I often wonder what would I do if I do not have any health insurance. Hospitals often say they won't turn away anyone, especially babies if they were born needed services and support like this (actually, it was written in Kaiser's Patients Bill of Rights). However, what happens when the baby is discharged? You still have to pay for ongoing medication, equipment (like Logan's oxygen supply or apnea monitor), ongoing doctor's appointments which oftentimes include seeing different specialists. All of this cost money. I am pretty sure these are not covered within that Bill of Rights. Of course, there are free clinics and General Hospitals, but we all know they are not the nicest or friendliest places, esp. when you have to wait for months to get an appointment.

This makes me realize the importance of Universal Healthcare. I am not a very political person, but I do know this has been an important issue discussed during the Presidential election. I don't know how to make it work or how much it costs, I just hope affordable healthcare can be available to all those in need. Can you imagine seeing your baby suffer and you can't bring him/her to see a doctor?

I've also been thinking about participating in the March for Babies (March of Dimes) in San Francisco on April 25. Even though Logan wasn't a preemie, I've seen so many preemies at the ICN. They were all so tiny, some weren't even 2 lbs and they had different machines hooked up to them. It was already heartbreaking for me to see my "big" boy going through all the tests, hearing all the "ding ding" sounds coming from the monitors. You just can't help but look at the monitor and go crazy whenever the alarm sounded off. I remember the nurses kept on saying, "Don't look at the monitor, but look at your baby because first, you will go crazy, and second, there isn't a monitor at home. You need to be able to tell from the face of your baby. " And they are so right on that! I can totally tell when Logan's face changes color.

Back to the March for Babies... I am not sure if I can logistically bring two kids up to San Francisco before 9 a.m., braving through traffic and the nightmare of finding parking, to participate. Not even sure if I could raise a substantial amount for the cause either. Money is tight as I am not working at the moment, plus, with the recession and all, I am hesitant to ask for donations. Maybe if I know someone is doing it, I'll just donate some money instead.

Preemies are miracles! They are fighters!