Finding the balance of resting and exercising

Day 16 - Hospital Stay
Day 11 - Intubated

Don't worry, everything is fine. I know I blog a little late today but don't you worry, Logan is stable. The plan for him today is to do two 2-hour lung exercise (on cpap) only. We don't want to stress him out like over the weekend where he needed a few days to recover. Yet, I don't want him not to breathe on his own either. That's why the plan is to just do two 2-hour sessions. I had to leave early today to do a Costco run, so that we have enough toilet papers and pull-ups for Aidan :) By the time I left at around noon, the respiratory therapist hasn't come in to change his ventilator settings to be on cpap yet. They were waiting for the Chief to confirm some of the settings before doing that. Logan was doing fine during my stay in the morning. His respiratory rate was definitely calmer than the last few days. I will check with the nurse tomorrow to make sure he did fine with his exercises and his blood gas results are good. I believe for the rest of the week, it should remain pretty calm. We might, or might not receive the test results back next week. Just like I've been saying, we'll take it one day at a time, one issue at a time. Right now is to deal with the breathing issues.

Received a call from Social Security Office today. The social worker at the hospital has made a referral for Logan. I'll be heading over to their Campbell office tomorrow to see if Logan qualifies for any services. If he qualifies for Medi-Cal, that would be a great help. It can help cover some of the medical costs and future medical rental fees that our insurance doesn't cover. I don't even need him getting any SSI payments, just Medi-Cal would be awesome.

I left a message on Golden Gate Regional Center's intake voicemail last Friday and haven't heard back from them. The message said it might take him 1-2 weeks to return any calls. Doh! Must be due to all the budget deficit. I know I should have called them 2.5 months ago when Logan's pediatrician mentioned it. However, I was still in denial at that point. I guess I am slowly moving into the acceptance stage. I am pretty sure Logan qualifies for their services since he would be having different developmental delays, on top of his stroke.

It's interesting how I work with adults with developmental disabilities, and now I am a parent of one. I remember telling parents of my clients not to spoil their children, and to set boundaries. Now that I am a parent, how can I not spoil Logan and to give him the best? How can I not have the same type of worries that these parents, who I have counseled in the past, have? How can I not worry about my son living independently in the future? In a way, I am glad that I work in the field. I know there are great services, great staff, great social workers and program managers out there, that will provide for my son in the future. I know that he will be OK when I am not around anymore. That is, if I am given the chance to raise Logan up to be the best that he could be.

Had a very long phone conversation with my dear cousin Peggy today. She has been such a great emotional support to me, sharing with me her experience, tips and suggestions. I would be forever grateful. I will strive to be the best mother/social worker/nurse for Logan. Peggy shared her little realization with me regarding her son and Logan, and babies who have similar needs. When she's in the NICU, she observed that most of the babies who had the most needs were born in loving families. It seems like God has a plan for these little ones, that he knows they will be loved in the arms of their loving and caring parents. It comforts me to know that God trusts us in taking care of Logan, and that he's not born in a single-parent family who is struggling emotionally and financially, with no medical insurance.