How are you doing today? Did you play with any angels? It's so hot today. Heat Wave in the middle of April. Our house traps heat and was so hot, actually it's still warm now. Couldn't wait for us to move down south where we have A/C in the house. Of course, our PG&E bill will be expensive since it's so hot down there. If you were here with us, you would only be wearing a short-sleeve onesie and I wouldn't have to worry about you catching a cold. That's always what I am worried about. One more hot summer and then we will have heat and a/c! I wish you could share this excitement with me. It's nice not to have to worry about you being too hot or too cold.
Daddy and Mommy took your big brother to the park/playground today. You've actually been here before as well. We went there with Ah Gung and Ah Po when they were visiting. You were sleeping the whole time, but we let you sit under the sun for a little while to get some Vitamin D. Ah Po actually captured one of your rare smiles in your sleep. It was such a cute picture. Aside from your rare smiles in your sleep, I've actually never seen a real smile from you. I remember thinking, after all the hard work during your monthly stay at the NICU, it would be a lovely reward if you could just flash me a smile. Unfortunately, I didn't have the pleasure of seeing that. I am glad Ah Po captured your sleeping smile, at least I could look at the picture and imagine you smiling at me.
It feels like when I am writing to you, that's our most intimate moment. During the day, it's hard to have any downtime when your big brother is around. Mommy also keeps herself busy with watching tv, reading blogs, and surfing online. But then, there are moments when Mommy would miss you so much. They usually occur when I am driving, taking a shower, or doing dishes. Other times, Mommy is busy enough so that she won't be missing you too much. But when writing these letters to you, I feel like I am really talking to you. Can you feel that?
Mommy has been researching to find plane tickets to go back to visit Ah Gung and Ah Po with your big brother. Mommy is worried about Ah Po's surgery and hoping your big brother could bring some joy to her. Ah Po was so heartbroken when she found out you have left us. Ah Po also told me that at the mass in Macau, your aunts, grandaunts and uncles came. You are truly loved by a lot of people, even those that have never met you. Mommy would never in a million years know that we're surrounded by so many loving people. Thanks to you, my angel, I now know and will be eternally grateful.
Take care, my dear. Mommy will talk to you tomorrow.
Love,
Mommy
1 comment:
Oh Virginia, your story is just heart breaking, and reading your precious letters to your son made me tear up. Please know that he's playing with my daughter Corinne (who would now be 3), so maybe she is really looking after your precious son.
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