"Mommy, don't be scared of the Church"

Hello Sweetheart,

Did you like the carnations that we brought you today? The bunch was a little small. Next time I need to get more. Did you like the song that your brother sang to you? He was excited to come see you, and to see the pinwheels at other kids' place. Your brother still associates you with the hospital. I had to remind him that you're not in the hospital anymore. I was glad to see that after he explored the area a little bit, he went back to see you. He didn't just run off without saying goodbye.

After visiting you, we went down to Sunday mass in Cupertino, where you had your funeral mass. This is the first time we came back since April, and your brother still remembers me crying last time. While I was holding his hand and walking towards the church, he said to me, "Mommy, don't cry, ok?" and "Mommy, don't be scared of the Church... you don't need to be scared". He still remembers seeing me crying when I was walking you out after your mass. I told him that I won't cry, and I am not scared anymore. It's amazing how he still remembers little things like this. He didn't say those words to me last week when we went to a different Church.

Aidan was actually very well-behaved. He likes going to this church because of the digital numbers of the hymns. He's excited to wait and see what the next hymn number would be. We thought about sitting in the baby room, away from the main hall. But since it wasn't full when we're there, we chose to sit with everyone else. It helps that there were 2 kids sitting in front of us. Your brother was actually better behaved than them. We'll probably come to this church more often after we move.

We'll come see you again next Saturday. Ah Po reminded me today that next Saturday marks the 100th day of your passing.


Love you,
Mommy