Mixed feelings about Medical shows

Hi Sweetheart,

Mommy just finished watching "Grey's Anatomy". It's both a sad and beautiful episode. After you're gone, it's been hard for me to watch medical shows. I thought about stop watching them, but I really like them. I also watch "House" and "Private Practice". Daddy and I love "House". It's one of the few shows that actually interests both of us. Most of the time when I watch "House", I really couldn't catch all the medical terms or medical conditions. But after spending time with you at the hospital, I actually learned a lot and was able to follow the shows a lot better. I remember in one episode of "House", I heard them say, "That ruled out a Mitochondrial Disease". It it weren't for you, I would never have caught that.

The past few episodes after you're gone, both "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice" had stories about kids. "Grey's Anatomy" had a young girl died of Tay-Sachs disease. Your doctors suspected you might have that before, but then it was ruled out. With "Private Practice", since one of the main characters is a pediatrician, there is always a storyline about kids. Even before what happened to you, these shows often make me cry. It's even more so these days.

But don't worry, Mommy also watches mindless TV shows that don't get me all depressed. Let's see what's on my TIVO season pass (in no particular order):

1. The Ellen DeGeneres Show - LOVE her! Used to watch her every night after I got home from the hospital- she helped make things a little more tolerable
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. House
4. Private Practice
5. Dancing with The Stars
6. American Idol
7. Celebrity Apprentice
8. America's Next Top Model
9. Gossip Girl
10. 90210
11. Jon & Kate Plus Eight
12. Project Runway
13. Top Chef
14. So You Think You Can Dance
15. Top Chef Masters
16. Iron Chef America (mainly Daddy watches this, but I'll catch it once in awhile)

Wow, that's a lot of TV. See, not all are serious ones. See all the Reality TV junk that I watch as well. I need them to balance out the somewhat heavier medical shows.

Most of my time these days are spent on watching TV and surfing online. I am, of course, addicted to Facebook. I also read parenting blogs and entertainment blogs. On top of that, I've been reading more blogs of other parents' grieving. Depending on how I feel, sometimes the grieving blogs make me sadder. But sometimes, it's comforting to know others share how I feel. The trick is to find the balance, just as Carly has written here.

I think I am doing fine. So don't you worry about Mommy, ok?


Miss you,
Mommy