Mother's Day Weekend has begun

Hello Sweetheart,

How are you today? It must be hot down in Los Altos today. Are you enjoying the sun? Mommy thought about you a lot today, mainly due to me watching the series finale of "ER". I know, Mommy was just telling you yesterday how medical shows get me all sad. But since I have the episode recorded for so long, and I've caught up with my other shows, I figure I should watch it. Of course they had to have a patient dying, and husband had to reluctantly let her go by making her comfortable, and not suffer even more with treatments that wouldn't cure her. It reminded me of your situation, and the last hours that we spent with you. I still remember very vividly how that day went. I don't think I will ever forget that.

I was also reading the blog about Maddie. Maddie gained a lot of attention in the blogosphere, especially, when she passed away. She left a week before you did. I was reading what her mother wrote, about her and their time together. Her mother was grieving just like me, probably more than me because she got to spend a lot more happy times with Maddie than me with you. But I was also jealous of them. They got a lot of non-hospital days together. Her mother posted pictures and videos of her. She was a happy girl. But I never got to experience the joy of you smiling, sitting, crawling, or walking. Our time together was so limited.

Mother's Day weekend has finally begun. I am sad that you could only be with us in spirit. It would be so much fun if we could all go to the zoo together on Sunday. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend.



On a happier note, your brother gave Mommy his first Mother's Day present. It's an artwork that he did at school. Priceless. He came home, showed that to me, and said "Happy Mother's Day". I don't think he knows what that means, just like saying "Trick or Treat". It still melts my heart, because it's his first gift to me. And then at night when we're reading, he said "Happy Mother's Day" again. Maybe he understands the meaning more than I thought?

I remember Mother's Day of 2006, I sent Ah Po a bouquet of flowers through this website that I found. It's my first real Mother's Day after giving birth to your brother. That's when I truly know how hard it is to be a good mother. All the emotions, responsibilities, ups and downs, that come with this role. I appreciate Ah Po so much more.

Speaking of your brother's artwork, he's really not a very artistic person. I guess he's like me. He's been bringing artwork from school, and mostly they are just scribbling here and there, painting a spot here and there. But these are still precious memories of him growing up. I have scanned all of his artwork and put them up our family gallery. I don't think I could save them all, because they would take up too much space, and they would just end up becoming trash, esp. when we move. I once read a mother put all of her kid's artwork in a pizza box, big enough for all sizes of paper. Some mothers displayed them proudly at home, or use them as wrapping paper. I just chose a way that I am used to: everything digital.

Honey, we'll see you tomorrow, ok? We're going to come see you and then celebrate Mother's Day with Grandma, Uncle John and Auntie Katie. Mommy got Grandma a beautiful potted pink calla lilies. I hope she likes them. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.


Love you,
Mommy